Within these strange days that have passed me both in a blur and at a tortuous slow speed, I have found rest in having felt the deepness of love. Evil was present - don't get me wrong. Hard things -injustice, hatred, and ignorance were all there and everyone knew it, but as my friend says - "It's like the phoenix rising out of the ashes."
Love is patient Love is Kind
I was hurt - not just because it affected me, but because it was wrong. These days I can't help but say 'wrong' when something is wrong. That's what I was hoping for. One voice to stand up in that room to say "That is wrong and we cannot accept it". The church cannot accept it. Jesus cannot accept it. no voice spoke those words.
It is not envious it does not boast it is not proud
I went to the ocean at Midnight and wrestled with my Creator. Was it in His plan? To watch me cry-see me in pain- see them in pain- to have the pregnant teenagers know that perhaps they might not have been wanted - because of their situation, bank account balance, color of their skin? It was wrong.
It is not rude it is not self seeking it is not easily angered
But we stood at the communion moment - where reconciliation cannot be denied or broken or spared for anyone. We make right at the cross and with this in mind I made my peace and ate your feast. And although difficult at times, felt your love wash over me like grace - to remind me that you are present, you are here, you are apart of me, and you will use the darkest moments of our lives to create grace and life for others.
Love keeps no records of wrongs
So I felt the love you lavished -
in the beauty of the flowers on my desk
in the tears of compassion and empathy shed
in the words that come from members of a family
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth
in the letters of so many who wanted to speak out but didn't -Tuesday - 3 months ago - 4 years in the future (missed moments). Words that sought apology and understanding, repentance, and forgiveness.
New friends and old
Love always protects
In the faces of innocent youth who know only the pure fight for justice now - yet to be revealed to the harshness of how difficult it can be when we are not willing to be so vulnerable - like toddlers - any more.
always trusts
in the trust of a new friend who sat to listen and understand -willing to walk the journey and hold my hand.
in the smile that comes-inside and out of me-as I feel his care in his kindness.
always hopes
in moving forward - that we are not the same people we were when we woke at the beginning of the week. in our knowledge that things can't stay the same and shouldn't.
always perseveres
in your embrace by the might of the ocean- calling me back to the woman you have made me to be - full of love and hope and grace,
love never fails
in the truth that at the end of the day - he sought to be right. To be the better person - the person who God had intended him to be. and for that we can only say Amen and again I say Amen.
I told the pastor that at my core I am no worse then he. Our skin color just looks a little different. Hopefully we will learn from each other how to be about this world and the great things God is etching, sculpting into the hearts of humanity.
In the meantime - this weekend I will relax, reflect on the love that has vanquished darkness and hatred, and enjoy my roses. They sure are beautiful and lovely.
