Thoughts on new year's eve day

Tonight is the last night of the year - here's to another adventure. (Will it really be a new year?)

Switchfoot has truly impressed me with their last albulm - here is my current theme song....get the albulm if you can
"nothing is sound"

Golden

She's alone tonight,
With a bitter cup and,
She's undone tonight,
She's all used up,

She's been staring down the demons,
Who've been screaming she's just another so and so,
Another so and so

You are golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)

There's a fear that burns,
Like trash inside
And you're ashamed of the curse,
That burns your eyes

You've been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn't how the story has to go
It's not the way it goes, It's your book now,
You're,

Golden,
You are golden, Child

You are golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)

You're a lonely soul,
Inlet of broken hearts
You're far from home,
It's a perfect place to start

(Yeah!)
(Burn,)
(Burn, Burn!)

So this final verse,
Is a contradiction
And the more we learn,
The less we know

We've been talkin' about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn't find the words
I couldn't write this verse,
I've seldom been so sure,
About anything before

Golden,
You are Golden, Child

You are Golden,
(Don't let go,)
(Don't let go tonight)

This world is a dead man down (Golden, you are,)
Every breath is a singing crown away, (Golden, Child, you are,)
Like some debilitated king, (Golden, don't let go,)
Don't let go tonight

Earth Spins and your mind goes round' (Golden, you are,)
Green comes on the frozen ground, (Golden, Child, you are,)
And everything will be made new again, (Golden,)
Like freedom and spring, (Golden, Golden,)
Hey, like freedom and spring, (Golden, you are, hey,)
Like freedom and spring (Golden, Child, you are,)

Bet-el ya hyim with familiar hand

Glory to the new born king
peace on earth with continued mercy
God and sinners reconciled
nations clothed in joyful newness afresh
excitment
anticipation
joined side by side
with the hosts of angels
we stand
and say
Emmanuel
God with us-God with us
Emmanuel God with us
Glory to God in the highest
Listen - the angels are singing

Merry Christmas

Waiting

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve - it seemed like we would never get here. Christmas has become to mean so much more to me tomorrow night verses Christmas Day. There is so much majesty in the evening, that perhaps some mystical and magical event happens between the time I close my eyes and when I wake up. That somehow during the unwrapping stage in the early morning Christ has been born and we rejoice in his birth....but it wasn't like that at all. It came so quietly and in the human raw that the only majesty was Emmanuel, Mary crying through child birth and my savior white with yuck. I don't want to think of Him that way - so feeble and vulnerable, but that was the cross as well. Yet I can not help but think that the angels lined up in rows, on bended knees - heads bowed low covered by wings ( I know...not all angels have wings), and perhaps Gabriel, or Micheal - or better yet Joe no named angel peaked a glance as God kissed His son goodbye to send him to earth - what a day knowing what would happen 32 years later. But this is my human interpretation, the reality of Christmas is so far beyond my menial understanding. Maybe that's why culture has tried to dull it down - because it's a concept too big to be boxed or purchased by credit. At any case - Christmas, what I have been preparing through all this long long long Advent - I think I am ready for you - Jesus I know I am ready for you. May our walk to Easter be slow and intimate. I love you.

missing

that's the word for the night - if I said much more it would give it away.

surfing the blogger world - my friend is so romantic - i am so excited for him to ask his lady to marry him. I am so excited for them. Man it's going to be a long year. Crap.

Thoughts at the end

It seemed that this day was to be the life preserver for many people. Perhaps this was true because it marked the end of finals, or the Christmas party that everyone was either waiting for or dreading finally came and passed. Either way it's over. I met some great people, the types of people that you wished were permanent in your life, but are not - they are drifters called to long journeys and nomadicism. Regardless, their presence was a blessing and what they had to offer - great music, art, conversation, connections within our small world.... it was refreshing. Thank you new friends.

I am sure that the community house concept is apart of the next year ahead. It is exciting but dangerous and nerve rattling at the same time. Maybe I am facing the things that I only spoke to others - leaving the secure and comfortable for the unknown and strictly faith living. But I know it is the road to walk along next. I know that I will not be alone. Here's to the journey always.

My friend gave me a photograph he had taken for Christmas - each day I find myself deeper and deeper into that sun rise, feeling hope and newness. It makes me feel calm and restless as the same time. Tonight it makes me want to sleep - or perhaps that was just this crazy week which I can now end. until the sunrise....

I know what i saw

Today I saw Jesus on TV - I did. He rescued a puppy who had been abused (bastards). His name was Gary in that moment, but it was my saviour, a carpenter, embracing trajedy and mercy- giving hope and encouragment to the vet nurses who love all animals even the roaches (gross). Maybe the puppy was Jesus - that would make the bastards feel bad - i think. But I am sure of my witness, it seemed like him - either Jesus or St. Francis. Next time I hope I don't miss you-please stay a while.....

Ok - new and exciting news. I have a myspace site now and it has my music on it - yeah!! Those tricky MP3 settings....anyway - if you are curious to hear my old stuff check out


www.myspace.com/melissamarley

I hope to write some more stuff soon and combine that with newer stuff to create even better stuff ... does that make sense?

Yeah - I love doing music - O great one call me to it please.....

is that my cell phone? (douh!)
All for the kingdom

Sleigh Bells Ring

Yeah Christmas is around the corner and I am so excited. I can't wait to be finished with my OT paper - I feel like it will take me forever to finish but I know that next Sunday I will look back and think - oh no way ...... I did it!!


Today I had this moment where in my heart I think I wanted to think that Saddam Hussain was an ok guy. The I remembered that great line:

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing everyone he didn't exist

Then I was back in reality feelin horrible about the thing all over again. What was that inside me that made me pause? Grace of God manifested - I doubt it, I can hardly grasp it myself....probably either stupidity or nievity. I must pray for it all.

Decided that I am in RTO (Relationship Time Out) - I think this is needed and good, I welcome time to think, pray, and reconsider something that will be the biggest thing every - eventually...in the mean time it's time to fast again - God bring me closer to you as I walk into the darkenss (Merton).


"If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, and both turn on the 'no's in their vacancy lights. If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks - I'll follow you into the dark." - Death Cab For Cutie, I will follow you into the dark - PLANS